As I promissed, here comes the first part of my historical.
Strangely enough I couldn't find a name for it though...
Title: Historical Challenge Noa Part 1
Author: Noa
Genre: AU, R, SX, D, V, H, A
Rating: 18+
Cast: You and 4 Lifers
Teaser:
After her mother's death she is supposed to start a new life with
relatives in Ireland, but instead she finds herself being captured by
criminals and with no way to escape...The discussions of some of the last fics have been lively and very helpful for the authors, so we hope that you will do the same here with this example fic.
What do you think about the characters, their development and changes? Can you identify, feel with the characters? Do you feel suspense, are you bored? Does it plant pictures into your head? D'you maybe feel like foreseeing something? What is your opinion on certain changes within the fic, the twists and turns? What about the ideas, the realization, the plot? What is going to happen next?
We hope for a good discussion :)
Have fun and leave some comments!
Cheers, Steffi and Noa
18 comments:
Yes, I'm intrigued indeed.
I think you're off to a good start, Noa. I'm really curious for what's to come so I guess that goes to show that it's a good start.
Fourth lifer; bad news indeed! Can I stab him with a knife please?
I do quite like the mystery of my fave lifer (yes, Feehily! ha!) He's a bit hard to read but at the same time it's clear he's not at all a bad guy like the fourth lifer haha (that was Nicky for me btw :p but going by names might turn out to be too confusing :p) He seems to care for me but at the same time there doesn't seem to be a lot he can do about the situation at the moment.
Yes, I'll be sitting around waiting for the next bit...
I am more than intrigued.....there is definetly an amazing air of tension through this whole part that just kept me on pins and needles. Cannot wait for the next installment to see what happens with this mysterious Eric and my chosen lifer :)
I like the characters, as it's all very mysterious at this stage. The start is very promising and leads to wanting to find out more.
There's definitely something in the air coming, good or bad I'm still figuring it out.
I think the plot is fine as it is, my only concern and what I wouldn't like to see is, for it to built up so well at the start for it to have a flat ending where it loses its appeal.
I can always imagine things when I'm reading.
I do think the changes happen a bit too quickly though more build up about the travels, were they travelling fast or slow paced...how is it the guy they were meeting came to them so quickly. Obviously there isn't going to be the smooth hand over and I suspect there will be lots of resistance...for a while.
Anyway those are my thoughts!
Hooked like a fish :)
At first I was shoked. right thrown into the middle of the story, great start.
Now who are the bad guys? why did they take me? and where will they bring me? Im curiuos! There is a lot of tension and I have no idea where it will go.
Please update soon
I am really intrigued by this story and i can't wait to see what happens next.
Will my favourite lifer (Feehily) look after me or will i be even away to O'Donnelly.
Brilliant fic.
beautifully start of the story and I love first view of heroine
i think the hero need to be very strong and a little violent for save the heroine and a protector
i want a fiery hero!!!!
like in the old romance books
i thank you Noa i know this will be a great story
Jen
The hero could be a little hard i like that
This the story i waited for a long time
Noa i forgot to say about the heroine : i like a beautiful heroine with Waist long hair and we could know when she Describes herself ( example she said : i hope i look fine and i will try to comb my hair...) how she cares about her beauty ; not everybody like to read about pretty heroine ? handsome hero :) and she also a little weak and think more of herself when she in love she is dreamy but that just what i like Noa write what you like thank again
WHO IS THIS ERIC FELLOW????
Yes, in all caps and everything.
Awww... Shane to the rescue, so sexy and mysterious as usual... and Kian, you're a bad, bad man tut tut.
Is it me or do you all picture them in their Bop Bop Baby video attire? I had Mark with a little goatie on and all. Haha
I loved it. I always say the first chapter has to be the best in a story. If it hooks people, they will want to read the rest. And this definitely caught my attention and will keep me desperate for more.
Great job!
The suspense is killing me... who is this Eric person? Why is my Shane afraid of him? So many questions... arrrgh :)
I read the story twice i like bad hero and i picture Brian with long hair and different clothes
wow i felt like i was there
Now that is a lot, thanks guys!!
I am really happy to read all your comments and that you are not bored, but feel a little supense :)
I will try and give you an update tonight (if the kids let me) and say a few words again in advance :)
Keep writing and commenting! We all wanna become better :)
he cut her hair? why ? no that i cant get that it ruined to me the story please change that
Nelly you are right! it is very bother for me too but it was in many novels so it is not new but for me is still bother
Loool :) Nelly and Kim, thanks for that comment about the hair!
It cannot be changed, because it will be important in a few scenes :) She is of course a beautiful woman, the cutting of the hair is not only taking some of her beauty to make her of less interrest to be abused but it also shows again, how much she is in the hands of her kidnappers. If you come to think about it: The favourite lifer doesnt want her to be taken away, he wants O'Donelly to frown and feel like she is one little filthy frog. Won't work with her hair and without the mud :)
but really sweet of you :) I imagined her hair to be amazingly long :)
On a side note... especially for these historicals, researching is very important.
I learned that women with long, waist-long hair were rich or royalty. So by the hero cutting off her hair he is trying to help her look less 'important', like she is just some common girl.
It makes sense with the others saying she had pretty luggage/clothes as if she is a rich woman that they can get a huge ransom.
In keeping with the historical accuracy of it all, that part was an important detail not to be missed.
Just my two cents...
Kara, you are on the right track :)
We really like the way this goes today, peeps!
Keep talking, keep sharing thouhts and ideas!
Ah, and btw: Nothing will be deleted or changed within the story, this is only a discussion. Even if there are comments on neverland, no one will ever try and make the writer change something. The fic always belongs to the writer and she/he decides how to publish it. This discussion wasn't meant to be kind of an examination paper where I get grades in the end :)hey, I'm 30+, I'm not getting assesed anymore :)
We only want you to talk and share ideas :) now have fun and a good night!
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