PEEPS! The FINAL part of LOVE CRIME is up! Enjoy!!
Title: LOVE CRIME Author: Joey (with Sarah) Rating: 18+ Genre: R, SX Teaser: It is a struggle when everything is serious all the time, but maybe an affair or two will make things more exciting; who will find out? Will they stop the affair?
Anonymous, it's all one long part. There aren't chapters like the other stories. ;)
Am a little confused as to what's going on with the third part. He loves his wife but he's still sleeping around with the woman he still truly loves but he doesn't want her around her ex. And then there is the other breaking up with the father of her son but they're still sleeping together and then there might be something going on with Mark.
AYE! It's doing my head in. lol I'm sure the whole thing will make sense sooner or later. Great job.
I just added the new parts to the story without making a new post. It's all in one and you have now 1,2 and 3. the 4th (and last part) will follow soon... Hope it's not too hard to find the right place where you have stopped reading. the story has no chapters, but I think it's not that confusing, is it? Enjoy reading and Joey and Sarah: great story! keep on writing, girls!!
I sat down and read this today... I have to admit I am a little curious about what is going to happen next.
I also have to say that I really did not enjoy chapter 3 as much as the parts prior to Mark marrying me and us having twins (I picked Shane and Mark).
I could totally got the whole forbidden, secret affair when they were just dating, even if I was engaged to Shane. Although I find it hard to understand how I would cheat on him, no disrespect to Mark. He's dreamy on his own. It was all so hot and intriguing. I couldn't stop reading.
As a personal taste kind of thing, I wished it had stopped there, before children were thrown into the mix. I am having a hard time relating with these characters now that they are married and cheating left and right.
And Mark is so mad at me meeting up with Shane, yet he is sleeping with my ex best friend repeatedly. Tut tut... how unfair. It almost makes my character in the story want to sleep more with Shane, but then who wouldn't?
Hi girls loved it a lot but was happy that i ended up with Shane again, didnt like the idea of him Being so attracted to my best friend, even though Nicky is SEXY he just don't stand a chance when it comes to Shane :-)
Yeah I'm really sorry, but I didn't enjoy this one. It felt really repetitive and I often found myself just skipping to the next bit just to be frustrated all over again. It was the same thing over and over again, once I'd read the first part, I'd pretty much read the entire story.
Good on you for getting it out there though, looking forward to more from you both.
Thank you for all your comments, good and bad. all feedback is useful. this was written a year ago and i have books published now that aren't so complicated and unlikely. thank you for takin time to read it though. Joey x
Well, I did not hate it and I didn't think it was THAT bad.
It was highly offensive to call someone's work godawful. These people put effort and time into this. We can all critique without being hurtful, even if you don't like something.
I keep my opinion that I liked the story at first because it was about people that clearly had feelings for someone else, despite being in a committed relationship each one of them. It happens in real life so it is not so far-fetched or far away from reality.
I also liked the element of doing something forbidden and the danger of it all made for some sexy, steamy scenes between the people involved. It was kind of a thrill-seeking experience for all of them and yes, that part was also fine.
It all came to a very emotional/heated climax at the wedding when the truth came out. I think it came to a good conclusion there because what happened afterwards meant everybody was with who they were meant to be.
I did think that what happened after that part was somewhat redundant and going back and forth.
I did not like all the cheating after the characters had families and children, etc. I won't say this part was unrealistic either (because people cheat all the time), but myself I found it hard to relate with these characters after that.
Why? Because they were with someone they claimed they loved and kept cheating and even after cheating were clinging to their original partner. It didn't seem to me this is how mature, responsible people behave, especially a parent. You can't have your cake and eat it too.
I think these two authors did well overall, they had an interesting premise and it clearly had us all hooked at first. At least they had me hooked at first.
There is always room for improvement everywhere for all of us. I think they should not get discouraged and keep trying. I would love to see more of you, as a team or separate, because I see a lot of promise here.
Dear ANONONYMOUS, it's true that everyone of us who puts a story on the internet has do deal with the feedback, but what the authors can expect, at least here on this blog, is respect. your feedback wasn't respectful and your criticism not constructive and we have no use for such godawful comments here. I highly recommend you, if you've issues with non-native English speakers, to avoid Neverland and complain about everything to the one who recommended this site to you, because we aren't interested in your opinion. At least I am not. steffi
Thanks a lot Steffi, you said it all.Be critical if you have to, but not offensive. And always let the writers know, what you would have written differentialy. Cite examples, be constructive not destructive! Jesus, we are writing, not trying to rewrite the theory of relativity, so stop being mean!
In my defence, as i've said before, this story was never written to be published online. it was a personal thing that is complicated i respect and had i initially wanted to upload it, there would be many differences to it. It was Sarah that wanted it online, i did warn her it wasn't going to be taken well. it is unrealistic but yes these things do happen i suppose. I have many online fan fics that are nothing like this with lots of positive feedback and a published set of books already. i am not a bad writer so i am sorry this story had caused a stir and confusion for the readers. it wasn't my intention to have anyone else read it.
33 comments:
What the what?!
Lots of hotness and major drama. But things cannot end as well as they seem. Some regrets are going to be there somewhere. Cannot wait for more!
Okay, that comment was mine. Not even sure what Znitch is. haha
Anyway, awesome story!
OH MY GOD... Part 2 COOOOMEEE OOOOOON... Love This story
Its the best of both worlds me nd joey had the same idea writting this story shes brilliant x
I'm most excited for the next part of this story!
And it gets complicated further in Part 2. Great work :)
Can't wait 4 part 3 love it even nico isn't behaving nicely
I loved it!! Can't wait for reading the next part of this fic! :O Well done!!
She might have been my best friend but god what a cow sorry cant wait for part 4 hope I'll have my man soon and this time all by myself
I know, I want to slap the so called 'best friend' Argh!!!! I need to know the next part now!!!!!!
Where can I find part 1 and2 I've looked back through previous posts and can't see them help lol x
Anonymous, it's all one long part. There aren't chapters like the other stories. ;)
Am a little confused as to what's going on with the third part. He loves his wife but he's still sleeping around with the woman he still truly loves but he doesn't want her around her ex. And then there is the other breaking up with the father of her son but they're still sleeping together and then there might be something going on with Mark.
AYE! It's doing my head in. lol I'm sure the whole thing will make sense sooner or later. Great job.
I just added the new parts to the story without making a new post. It's all in one and you have now 1,2 and 3. the 4th (and last part) will follow soon... Hope it's not too hard to find the right place where you have stopped reading. the story has no chapters, but I think it's not that confusing, is it?
Enjoy reading and Joey and Sarah: great story! keep on writing, girls!!
It better be soon coz this is killing me!!! lol
I sat down and read this today... I have to admit I am a little curious about what is going to happen next.
I also have to say that I really did not enjoy chapter 3 as much as the parts prior to Mark marrying me and us having twins (I picked Shane and Mark).
I could totally got the whole forbidden, secret affair when they were just dating, even if I was engaged to Shane. Although I find it hard to understand how I would cheat on him, no disrespect to Mark. He's dreamy on his own. It was all so hot and intriguing. I couldn't stop reading.
As a personal taste kind of thing, I wished it had stopped there, before children were thrown into the mix. I am having a hard time relating with these characters now that they are married and cheating left and right.
And Mark is so mad at me meeting up with Shane, yet he is sleeping with my ex best friend repeatedly. Tut tut... how unfair. It almost makes my character in the story want to sleep more with Shane, but then who wouldn't?
Haha this is so confusing.
I agree with you Kara, it will get messy, not that it isn't already but having the kids involve makes it all a big blubbering mess!
Love the story, I can't wait to read how it ends, we need part 4 please!!! :)
Ah!!! What can I say? Such much craziness!! But I do love it
Hi girls loved it a lot but was happy that i ended up with Shane again, didnt like the idea of him Being so attracted to my best friend, even though Nicky is SEXY he just don't stand a chance when it comes to Shane :-)
Yeah I'm really sorry, but I didn't enjoy this one. It felt really repetitive and I often found myself just skipping to the next bit just to be frustrated all over again. It was the same thing over and over again, once I'd read the first part, I'd pretty much read the entire story.
Good on you for getting it out there though, looking forward to more from you both.
sorry you feel that way hun,it is confusing and unlikely but thanks for takin some time to read it. Joey
Thank you for all your comments, good and bad. all feedback is useful. this was written a year ago and i have books published now that aren't so complicated and unlikely. thank you for takin time to read it though. Joey x
That's the whole reason to stories, we make situations that never happen! lol ;-) all in good fun though
Well I enjoyed it and couldnt wait to read the next part.x
I find that comment high offensive, stupid and pathetic. At least have some critical feedback not just all out be a rude idiot ffs!
Well, I did not hate it and I didn't think it was THAT bad.
It was highly offensive to call someone's work godawful. These people put effort and time into this. We can all critique without being hurtful, even if you don't like something.
I keep my opinion that I liked the story at first because it was about people that clearly had feelings for someone else, despite being in a committed relationship each one of them. It happens in real life so it is not so far-fetched or far away from reality.
I also liked the element of doing something forbidden and the danger of it all made for some sexy, steamy scenes between the people involved. It was kind of a thrill-seeking experience for all of them and yes, that part was also fine.
It all came to a very emotional/heated climax at the wedding when the truth came out. I think it came to a good conclusion there because what happened afterwards meant everybody was with who they were meant to be.
I did think that what happened after that part was somewhat redundant and going back and forth.
I did not like all the cheating after the characters had families and children, etc. I won't say this part was unrealistic either (because people cheat all the time), but myself I found it hard to relate with these characters after that.
Why? Because they were with someone they claimed they loved and kept cheating and even after cheating were clinging to their original partner. It didn't seem to me this is how mature, responsible people behave, especially a parent. You can't have your cake and eat it too.
I think these two authors did well overall, they had an interesting premise and it clearly had us all hooked at first. At least they had me hooked at first.
There is always room for improvement everywhere for all of us. I think they should not get discouraged and keep trying. I would love to see more of you, as a team or separate, because I see a lot of promise here.
Dear ANONONYMOUS,
it's true that everyone of us who puts a story on the internet has do deal with the feedback, but what the authors can expect, at least here on this blog, is respect. your feedback wasn't respectful and your criticism not constructive and we have no use for such godawful comments here. I highly recommend you, if you've issues with non-native English speakers, to avoid Neverland and complain about everything to the one who recommended this site to you, because we aren't interested in your opinion. At least I am not.
steffi
Thanks a lot Steffi, you said it all.Be critical if you have to, but not offensive. And always let the writers know, what you would have written differentialy. Cite examples, be constructive not destructive! Jesus, we are writing, not trying to rewrite the theory of relativity, so stop being mean!
In my defence, as i've said before, this story was never written to be published online. it was a personal thing that is complicated i respect and had i initially wanted to upload it, there would be many differences to it. It was Sarah that wanted it online, i did warn her it wasn't going to be taken well. it is unrealistic but yes these things do happen i suppose. I have many online fan fics that are nothing like this with lots of positive feedback and a published set of books already. i am not a bad writer so i am sorry this story had caused a stir and confusion for the readers. it wasn't my intention to have anyone else read it.
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